it sucks when i am at work and i have to empty the trash in the lobby and while i am gone for 2 minutes people decide to dump their GROSS NASTY TRAYS INTO THE EMPTY THING THAT HOLDS THE TRASH CAN. so i have to clean it up. today was the third day that has happened. yesterday it happened too, and i walked back in with the trash can as the people were dumping their trays, and they just kept dumping them while i stood there holding the trash can. there was even an empty trash bag on top of the thing. i smiled but was thinking, “you stupid heads.”

stupid heads.

last night i was standing at a register at work, ready to serve my nation with artery clogging fried chicken, and this man came up to me and said, “your men’s restroom is overflowing with water.” or something like that. so i said, “what!” and he repeated himself. and i said, “oh my god, thank you for telling me.” and then i went to go look. and the men’s restroom toilet was leaking quite badly.

so i was thinking “oh jesus what a great night.” and i went to tell the others, and two of them went to go fix it. and this guy took the lid off the toilet and he got squirted with water. i didn’t get to see it but i saw the assistant manager laughing really hard.

also, later, the women’s toilet was not working and i told the kid that got squirted that he needed to go try to fix that one too. and he really did, but unfortunately, there was no toilet squirting involved in that one.

the end.

so i can’t really even describe how i’m feeling about this whole obvious situation. i can’t really watch the news and not want to cry, i can’t listen to ‘god bless the usa’ by lee greenwood because it makes me want to cry. my father used to play that song all the time when i was really young, and now it suddenly developed more substance than ever. yesterday a teacher at school sang that song at an assembly and was crying by the time he was done. i know that here in missouri i’m not experiencing nearly as much as the people who live near the devastation, and i can’t imagine what it must be like. i don’t really know how to feel about this, i’m sad, angry, confused, and scared all at once and i’m sure some other emotions could fit along right in there. i just don’t understand, i guess sums it up.

my grandparents were almost on the boston flight that crashed into the wtc. they were on their way to okinawa to visit some relatives, that’s all. their flight left just fifteen minutes before that one–they were in the same building as many of the victims. they probably stood right beside them. they were there when the terrorists were, that’s a scary enough thought for me. my grandparents’ flight made an emergency landing in des moines, iowa, and my parents picked them up that night. they stayed with us for a few days, and that was nice, but then i’d start thinking about the reason why they were here…

they left yesterday, by bus.

so my mind hasn’t really been functioning properly, you know, it hasn’t felt like it at least. i haven’t been doing my homework and i’ve been irritable. last night was good though. i went out with a friend and we cried from laughing this time, and of course we talked about the obvious. but it was a fun night.

we have fun out of going to a super wal mart. and also at this seventh heaven store, i found a bumper sticker that says, “beam me up jesus” and i’m kind of upset that i didn’t get it. because i am all about jesus merchandise. it would match my “i love jesus” air fresheners nicely. i had a nice time last night.

a few weeks ago i was thinking, “i’m really happy with life right now.” and besides the terrorist attacks, just my personal life, things are better this year than last year. besides the fact that i have tons of homework all the time that i never really do to the best of my ability. i just don’t really see how that matters–i mean, i know it does, and why, but i don’t want to. excuse my incoherence.

my school switched many people from one lunch shift to another, and i was one of the people. so i was changed from lunch with a friend i’ve wanted to have lunch with for the last couple of years, to having a lunch with no one i hang out with. (that doesn’t take much becauase i really don’t hang around with a lot of kids, but i am more open to having a social life this year, it seems. or something like that–)

i found out that another kid i’ve known since i moved here (about seven years) got switched. she used to live across the street (and one house down!) from me. we’re the kind of friends who won’t hang out for about six months and then suddenly we’ll be like, “hey i haven’t seen or talked to you forever let’s hang out.” and everything is the same as it’s always been. that is a nice thing to have, i think. anyway, she goes out to lunch with me now. and that’s nice.

because last year, i was really quite upset that i had lunch with no one. it really seemed to put a damper on my school year because i am dumb like that. i would have liked things much better if i felt like i had the option to not be by myself. you know. i don’t have a lot of friends and i seem to just now be becoming okay with that. and that’s embarrassing to admit, because i liked to pretend that i really didn’t care about things like that.

i don’t really know what i’m rambling on and on about. i love rambling, i hate my creative writing class. and i hate my math class. did i meantion i got a D- on my first math test? i have a C+ in the class. for some reason i have a hard time comprehending what mr. robotic voice is saying, and i just don’t want to get help from him because he doesn’t explain very well. you know what. i don’t even need this math credit.

i think i’m going to go shopping at a local thrift shop today. after going to the bank because i am so broke it hurts. also i need to buy bob dylan’s new album. he is love.

i wear my “peace bob necklace” everyday. a dog tag with a peace sign on it, with my name engraved (sloppily) on the back, that i bought on august 11, the day we made it to the front row of bob. i haven’t thought about that for awhile. that was great. good times.

great oldies.

my grandmother couldn’t think of the word for sink and she said, “small wash thing.” that is funny.

greetings.

in about fifteen minutes i have to get ready to leave for work. that is exciting. not really. but i got my paycheck last wednesday and it was for 169 dollars and 54 cents. that is pleasant. it would be even better if i was paid more than minimum wage. but i shall not complain.

last night i went out. a friend and i decided to attend the first home football game together, and a little while before i left to go to her house she called and asked how i’d like to attend a different football game in her boyfriend’s town to see her boyfriend’s brother play. so me, attempting to be a good friend says, “okay, i don’t really care.” even though i didn’t want to because in her three months of dating this kid, i’ve never met him or any of the new people she’s started to hang out with. (all she ever talks about)

by the way, her boyfriend is spending the weekend in jail. it was for having alcohol. which doesn’t really seem like a big deal because almost every underage kid i know does the same thing, they just don’t get caught. twice.

so we went to the game where she talked to kids she knew and i was just tagging along. being EXTREMELY BORED. and after halftime ended and she mentioned nothing about going back to our town to watch our own team, i realized she just must have FORGOTTEN to mention that “a little while” means “the whole damn night”. or something.

so yeah, last night was a waste of my time. watching a kid i’ve known since sixth grade mingle with people she’s known for three months and listen to her talk about a boyfriend i’ve never met. oh good times.

also, it started raining pretty hard last night while we were leaving and when we got back to town i realized i left my car window half down. but at least it was the passenger side.

i like complaining. can’t you kids tell.

it’s been about a month since my sister, brother in law, and nephew moved here but i’m still trying to get used to it. i’m surprised no one has come into this room just to see what i’m doing. which annoys me for some reason. also, i never get to sleep in anymore on weekends. and sometimes, my brother in law is the most annoying person on the planet.

i am not in a good mood. tonight at work i have to be trained in drive thru. oh hooray. hip hip hooray.

i haven’t spent much time online, so i haven’t talked to a lot of the kids i usually do. and that kind of sucks, because they are great. i don’t think any of them read this though.

so we finally got our yearbooks from last year, and there’s a picture of my school’s principal and his (then, now ex) wife walking to the stands at a football game from last year, and i realized that i’m standing right behind them and look really stupid. my sister says i look “doped up” to put it nicely.

my hair is wet.

i am bored.

hi kids.

so. three day weekend is over. i’m still not done with my homework. less than an hour until it’s tuesday. i should be sleeping. i have to get up early tomorrow morning to finish writing a story. and then i get to leave early for school to fill my car up with expensive gas. i also have a piano lesson i did not practice for and some pages in my piano theory workbook to do. it’s going to be a great day. because tomorrow i can pick up my pay check. i wonder if it will even be more than one hundred dollars.

at kfc i work the least amount of hours. the kids i work with are good kids. for now. i’ve only been there a month. working makes my face dirty. yesterday was awful. today i was called into work, which kind of ruined my plans of using today as a ‘do my homework day’.

the day before labor day = bad fast food working day. we were swamped with people all day. i worked split shifts. one man told me, “why don’t you just close up and go home.” because we could not fullfill his food request immediately. it was great. i was “flipping out” according to another kid who works there. it was fun-filled family times.

i feel like i am using short choppy sentences. like a robot or something. hello. i am a robot. i have a robotic voice, like my advanced math teacher. speaking of advanced math, i still have all my assignments since the first day of school to finish, plus one whole assignment from the third or fourth day. we turn them all in at once. maybe i’ll just rip out the one problem i have done for that assignment and say, “oh, i must have done it on loose leaf paper and lost it. oh dear. how could i have done something like that.” most likely i will do that because i do not have senioritis at all.

you know, i like being busy and not really missing being on the computer a lot. but it sucks at the same time. i am not always able to just sit around and be lazy like i want. i don’t sleep enough and on the days i do have off, i’m so used to being busy that i am very very bored and almost relieved when i am called into work.

at least i find socializing easier. working really has helped that. but sometimes i still get weird looks from people because i say dumb things.

i am covered with bruises and small little scabs. i have no idea where most of these came from. most likely, work. i am clumsy and i run into things a lot. last night i spilled a container of gravy. it was beautiful times two.

blistex is a good brand of chapstick. it makes my lips tingle. tingling lips = great.

you know what song is always in my head? that “bootylicious” song by destinys child. and that’s just kind of frightening because i don’t know when i hear it, but i must hear it somewhere often because it’s always in my head.

the other day i set my car radio so i can just press the number buttons and go to my favorite radio stations. and one of the buttons leads to the local trendy pop station, because sometimes i just crave cheesy pop music. i am not alone.

today my sister and i watched the top 80 of the 80s. man, 80s music rocks my socks. i had to leave before number one came on, so i still don’t know what number one is. i yelled at my sister and my father to watch and make sure not to forget to tell me. but i forgot to ask when i got home.

you like the way i inform you of important events in my everyday life. like the television i watch and my car radio station presets, or whatever those are called.

it sounds like my typing is extra loud tonight. or maybe it’s just too quiet. i should really get off and do my homework. but i’m not. because one of my friends from school just logged on and we’ve been talking a lot lately. which is good, because really, i never really spent much time talking to kids before.

i think life is nice right now. and i am happy.

i bet i’d be happier if my father didn’t say i was “concerted out” for awhile. oh giggle giggle. jimmy eat world is nice.