i like how i just now remembered that i have a paper to write. it’s also funny how it’s a problem/solution paper, and my problem/solution topic is how i procrastinate and the amount of time in a day that i waste.

it’s a big problem for me, but i cope with it.

tomorrow is halloween. today i went shopping at a thrift shop in my town. we have two of those. i am lucky to be near them. they are great.

i will be a nerd for halloween, i think i mentioned that a few days ago. so i went to the store mainly looking for some ugly slacks and button up shirts. i found three pairs of pants–one of them is red and blue plaid, but they are way too big. i bought them anyway, just because i thought they were funny.

i found two shirts. they aren’t too terribly ugly. i’ll probably end up wearing them on regular days. also, i found the best shirt ever. it is green and across the chest in capital white letters it says, “SURGICAL SERVICES” and then on the back there is a “2″. it is so great. i will cherish my 50 cent investment.

i spent 5 dollars and 84 cents on six items. is that a deal, or is that a deal. i also bought the ugliest suspenders i could find at wal mart. and an almond joy but that’s not for my costume.

i got my paycheck today. 184.75. it was exciting to receive. hooray for paychecks.

my computer is being stupid.

i should write my paper now, maybe.

or i should turn in just the front page and have the last sentence say something about waiting to do it later. since it’s about procrastination. i am sure my teacher will appreciate it a lot. she is very picky about what we choose for our writing topics, and it’s really annoying. she wants us to have a “unique voice” shining through in our writing style, but then she rewords everything and it’s all her style.

what’s that about, man. i guess it’s helpful, it’s just annoying.

oh man, today at my piano lesson my teacher asked me if i knew this kid, and the name just happened to be that of my “stalker”. he didn’t really stalk me but he kept bugging me a few years ago. i had to be mean to him to shoo him away. and i thought it was finally over but now he’s asking my piano teacher if she still gives me lessons. how dumb is that.

WHY DO ALL THE BOYS WANT MY HOT BODY.

ha, that is a joke. not all the boys want my hot body. only about 3/4 of them.

right.

one of my favorite names is sylvia. so i am writing a screen play and the mother’s name is sylvia. she is a bad mother who doesn’t care for her son and brings home strange men in drunken stupidity.

i’m not going to tell you what this conversation was about, but here is a nice excerpt.

my sister: she liked my nipples
my mom: nipples?!

so today i took the ACT. a nice standardized test in the midwest, for you non-midwesters. i didn’t do very well, i’m guessing. i really wanted to, my first score wasn’t so superfantastic. this was my second time taking it.

my friend called amanda was there. she didn’t recognize me because my hair was up. that is funny, i think.

as soon as i got home i discovered that i had been volunteered to drive my sister and nephew into town. i ate macaroni and cheese first, and then left. and was really bored. and i felt bad for acting irritated at my sister, who is pretty emotional. but sometimes i just want to have a day to myself. sitting around doing nothing–not being expected to do something. i don’t know. maybe i’m just lazy, but it feels like i’m always doing something, always going somewhere. i am tired.

i went to the doctor the other day. i have a sinus infection. i get to take three pink and white pills a day for ten days. and cough medicine. hooray. last night i took some of the cough medicine and then told my father that it had made me drunk.

i get all these bruises all over my body–mostly on my legs. they are huge purple and blue and yellow bruises. and i have no idea where i get them. my mom always says, “it looks like someone is beating you up.” and if she keeps thinking that sooner or later she will believe it. i told her i was beating myself up, and then proceded to pretend i was.

we are a fun family. hollywood should make a movie about us.

so my father bought a camcorder last week. i cannot wait to start using it for stupid videos. a friend of mine called maurine, who is super, and i want to make a stupid video together. but i cannot let the details out. even though i already told a kid.

i ate a lot today. i also had a grilled stuft burrito from taco bell and nachos and a large drink, besides almost a whole box of macaroni and cheese. also i had a half bowl of cheerios this morning.

i do not really like regular cheerios. honey nut cheerios are so much nicer.

last night i was talking to my father about halloween, and i asked if i bought him a funny wig, like a pink one, if he would wear it. and he said probably. actually he said, “what do you think, you know me.” which means, “yes.” he is thinking of wearing his old air force uniform.

and i asked him if he would wear the uniform with a pink wig. and he just laughed at me, but i was serious. because really, how many air force guys do you see with pink wigs. zero. that’s the answer.

i told him to be a drag queen also, but he refused.

i will be a nerd.

imagine me like this:

but ten times nerdier. with a “kick me” sign on my back.

now that’s nerdy to the max. that’s what i’m all about. i be chillin wit da nerdiez.

today i wanted to buy nasal spray after school, but i couldn’t because you have to be 18. to buy nasal spray at wal mart. so i went back a few hours later with my sister and gave her my money to pay for it.

we are rebels.

oh man, it’s funny when i’m just sitting here and i hear people talking and i think they say things.

“you killed the mailman?”

it sounded like my mom said that.

what a super-fun weekend i am having! wait. that is a lie.

in an hour and one half i have to be back at work for my second shift. hooray.

remember that super cool rap song that goes, “hip hip hooray, hooo, hay, hooo.”

it was almost as cool as that “pop pop goes the weasel the weasel, pop pop goes the weasel.”

mc hammer still surpasses them all.

we get to dress up on halloween for work. i was thinking about being an 80s hair band super-fan. i have my sister’s old poison shirt. and a crimper. i mean, that would be so great. but we’re not supposed to wear things that might scare children.

really, i like 80s hair band music. i mean, i can’t help it if i’m into cheesy music. i’m not going to pretend i’m not or form some kind of hate for a genre and avoid it at all costs. that’s too much stress, man. and i’m all about the stress free lifestyle. or not.

school is one quarter over. three more quarters to go before i’m done with high school. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. not that i’ll be moving very far away. but you know.

oh man, today at work i knocked this food release spray aerosol can off the counter and the top broke off it and it started spraying out. it was funny. it would have been even funnier if it exploded. not really.

so weezer, tenacious d, and jimmy eat world are coming to kansas city. and i really think i need to attend.

hello.

did i ever mention that a kid put a candy bar in a water fountain at school and everyone thought it was a turd?

everyone i heard talking about it was like, “oh my god there was a turd in the water fountain! a real one!”

one of the teachers took a picture. and i thought it was real for a long time, i didn’t see it, unfortunately. and i was just wondering, if someone were to do that, how would they go about pulling that off?

i mean, would they bring a small container containing the feces with them? or would they do the deed at school and scoop it up with some net?

this is a nice entry. it’s all about turds and water fountains.

hello.

so, what’s been going on? not a lot. i got my paycheck earlier this week. one hundred eighty-four and eighty-two cents. that is fine with me. it’s my biggest check yet.

the other day i bought ben folds’s new album, rockin the suburbs. ben folds makes me happy. i like his piano skills. they make me hard.

so today at lunch i encountered many stupid drivers. when i was pulling out of the parking lot a car hit my back bumber. the same thing happened last week too. but it didn’t leave a mark and i didn’t do anything about it. because i do not really care that much. also, when i was going back to the school, the girl behind me was also going to pull into the parking lot. she went into the turning lane really early, before i did. and she was right behind me, so i slowed down for her to pass me. and she wouldn’t. so i sped up and pulled in front of her, because otherwise i wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere. and she honked at me. and i said, “dumbass.” i’m probably not a very good driver either.

i’m quite tired. i did not work last night, and i do not work tonight. i work tomorrow, and not friday. isn’t that fantastic? however i do work split shifts both saturday and sunday. it’s okay.

monday was a stressful day. i couldn’t sleep much sunday night because i had a lot of crap to do. i was supposed to have the day off of work, but i got called in. and i didn’t work the whole time they asked me to, but i worked some. i had too much homework. i had to finish reading a book for an oral book report, finish some stuff for my human phys bulletin board, and prepare for a poetry slam i had to participate in.

well. the book report was done first, and it was stressful but it turned out really nicely. cat’s cradle by kurt vonnegut is probably one of my most favorite books now. but i have a lot of those. i think i did good. i could see my teacher nodding while i was up there speaking/rambling. that is a good sign.

the poetry slam was dumb. none of us really wanted to do it, and none of us did it the way the teacher wanted us to. we were to perform, with emotion and gestures an emotional and unconventional piece of poetry. i went up there and read something. that’s all. the winner got a dollar from everyone in the class. $13. i wasn’t in the mood to embarrass myself. i didn’t sign up for drama class.

i wasn’t really nervous either time i had to get up in front of a class, which is good. because i really wanted to get rid of my shyness. and it’s going away. i am happy about that.

yesterday was my father’s 53rd birthday. i bought a card for him. it has a dog on the front, with an eye that sticks out and is really wide–and the inside just says, “you’re how old?!”

we like funny cards ten times better than serious ones. everyone should. serious ones are nice, but boring. you know, giggling makes for nice days.

today i am wearing my camoflauge socks. a bright orange long sleeved shirt and a gray semisonic shirt over that. and then i wore a brown corderoy jacket most of the day. i’ve had that jacket for a long time. i’ve had most of my clothes for a long time.

today i had a hard time staying awake in my math class. it’s incredible how boring one teacher can be. he tries too hard to teach us. i don’t know if that makes sense, but this kid who is also in my math class said that to me today while we were in spanish class. and then he added, “and he’s not very good at it.” and i said, “i know.” or something like that. he’s like a robot AND IT’S SOOOOOOOOOO BORING. so, with that many o’s. this is him talking:

“haah aahm a robot, mmkaaayy”

that translates to:

“hi, i’m a robot, okay”

his mouth doesn’t really move to form his words, it’s like a puppet mouth. it just opens and closes.

“haah, aaahm a mayeth robot, i-i-i-is thayet cleeearrr?”

translation: “hi, i’m a math robot, is that clear?”

he stutters also sometimes, and has a southern accent. someday i will record my voice talking like him and let kids listen to it. and then i will let them decide if they’d like me to teach them math in that voice, standing stiff in front of them.

domo arigato mister roboto. my math teacher doesn’t even deserve styx lyrics. bad math teacher, bad.

bayad mayeth teeachher, bayad.

the last rites of the bokononist faith: (cat’s cradle by kurt vonnegut)

god made mud
god got lonesome
so god said to some of the mud, “sit up!”
“see all i’ve made, ” said god, “the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars.”
and i was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around
lucky me, lucky mud
i, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job god had done
nice going, god!
nobody but you could have done it, god! i certainly couldn’t have.
i feel very unimportant compared to you
the only way i can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn’t even get to sit up and look around.
i got so much, and most mud got so little
thank you for the honor!
now mud lies down again and goes to sleep
what memories for mud to have!
what interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud i met!
i loved everything i saw!
good night.
i will go to heaven now.
i can hardly wait…
to find out for certain what my wampeter was
and who was in my karass
and all the good things our karass did for you.
amen.