what i think is funny is that my mother is always like, “don’t stay up too late.”

 

and i’m always like, “i won’t.”

 

but we both know that i’ll be up all night because i have not done my school work like a good little girl should. oh i am so bad.

 

i’m currently reading the grapes of wrath and the scarlet letter. both books for school. they are decent. it took me forever to get interested in the scarlet letter, however.

 

i’d rather be reading vonnegut right now, honestly, because i got some of his books for christmas and i have not had the time to read them.

and it’s just upsetting, i tell you.

 

the only band i’ve been listening to for the last week is the strokes. because i am the queen of trendy. THE QUEEN. i also listened to badly drawn boy a little, because that album is also in my stereo. and has been for the last week. because i have not felt the need to change anything yet.

 

at school we are doing this little survey thing–the senior class. and i guess it is pretty silly. you know it’s one of those things like, “smartest girl/boy” “prettiest eyes” “best personality” “best legs” “best smile” “best hair”

 

all that crap. i have not filled mine out yet and probably will not because i don’t know anyone well enough. however i have received three votes! one for best hair and two for best personality. and that’s just hilarious i think.

 

there is freezing rain tonight. i am hoping for a snow day. because really, is it that bad hoping for one day of peace? i have been having days of barbed wire crap lately. today was nice. yesterday, pure hot pepper crap. late to first hour class, flat TEMPORARY TIRE THAT WAS PUT IN PLACE OF A FLAT TIRE, ten minutes late to class after lunch because i went home (on the way i passed my mom and took her car and left her with mine in the parking lot of my dad’s work), woke up early to finish up a paper, went home at lunch to print off a part i forgot, had to reprint the whole paper three times because of problems, typed up my title page (THE WHOLE REASON I WENT HOME IN THE FIRST PLACE) , AND THEN I LEFT THE DAMN TITLE PAGE AT HOME!

 

so my teacher has some mercy on me and says that if i have it to her by the end of the day then she will not take points off. so i was sitting in class trying to think up some plan of how to sneak into the computer lab and print something off without having to pay for my page and manage all that in four minutes between classes. oh and also i started crying because i am a baby when i have a steady succession of days of ass. but it all worked out, i got the page done at the end of the hour because we had spare time. and that’s when my day began to get better.

 

work has been sucky lately too, but i guess i’ll just have to grin and bear it until i’m all ‘grown up’. i just think it’s funny how these elderly people complain to me and i have no idea what they are talking about. it’s like everyone expects every single worker to know everything that happens. and that’s silly. because really, if i didn’t take your order you have to explain the situation to me. not just tell me that we did not give you the right food and then get irritated when i ask what you ordered, ASS WIPE.

 

no i am not mean, cynical, angsty, or upset at all.

 

i am in a nice mood right now, actually. i am hoping that school will be canceled because of the freezing rain, but i probably shouldn’t be hoping. because, really.

 

let me tell you kids, what i really want is a fun friend and a show to come to. there’s more shows being booked in the local concert town i mostly go to. and i’ve become friends with more people recently. well not really friends, but. something like that.

 

i got my senior pictures back and people who wanted one wrote their names on the back and gave them to me so i could write on them and then return them. (that is not a run on sentence at all). and i plan to write nothing sentimental.

 

i wrote, “insert sentimental words here. have a nice day.” on one girl’s. and she liked it because she said she was tired of all the “good luck” crap. which is funny because everyone writes dumb fake stuff. well not everyone.

 

i wrote something dumb on this girl’s. and she said, “tina you are a dork.” when i handed it to her. and i said, “i know.”

 

because i really do know. and i’ve come to terms with myself. i’ve embraced my inner dork and we’ve become good friends.

 

this might be the worst entry in the history of the united states of america. if it’s not, then it might be a runner up or something. but really, i’ve read some stuff a lot worse.

 

word of the day: CRAP

hey kids.

 

tonight was decent. i went to the skating rink with a friend. a boy she’s probably going to be dating soon was going to show up. he didn’t, but he called her cell phone. i made fun of her because she kept talking about him.

 

so she called him and they talked for about 40 minutes and i was really bored. she pulled over to talk. so i wrote stuff on her window with my finger.

 

“hi mom”

“help me”

“bird poop is pretty” and then an arrow pointing to some bird poop.

 

i am mature. extremely mature. seriously.

 

this girl always has a boy that she likes and that likes her. and she’s always talking about some boy. and it didn’t really bother me tonight but sometimes it does. because really, i don’t get the opportunity to do things like that. because i’m not a boy magnet.

 

what i think is funny, is that all the anti-trendy boys at school who i find attractive all seem to be attracted to the pretty and trendy girls. and i just don’t understand.

 

my mother made one of my favorite meals last night. roast beef, potatoes, and carrots. and i was really looking forward to coming home from work and stuffing my face. and so i don’t eat anything while i’m at work, and i get home AND THEY DIDN’T LEAVE ME ANY VEGETABLES. that was just upsetting. i am proud to say i did not get violent over this small situation.

 

my brother in law goes back on the road tomorrow. i don’t know how long he’ll be gone for his job this time. he hasn’t been getting on my nerves too bad the last few days. i can’t believe they’ve been living here since august.

 

i need to go to a show, and i need someone to hang out with. i’m tired of the computer, really.

 

I NEED SOMETHING REAL. AND FUN.

 

oh i’m so sore. i feel like an elderly woman.

it snowed. there is about five inches of snow on the ground but i think it’s melting. actually i dont know if it’s melting because i have not checked.

 

i dont like using this computer because everything looks dumb on it. like this diary layout, it is super skinny because this computer SUCKS.

 

it sucks in caps lock.

 

i am very cold. my hair is wet also and that probably has something to do with why i am cold. i have good reasoning skillz. madd skillz, yo.

 

things i hate:

–not being able to read books you want to read because you’re too busy reading two other books for two classes at school

–mean people who order fast food “could you please hurry i’m sort of in a hurry”

–cold hands

–lima beans and peas and brussel sprouts

–missing one glove

–lacking sleep

–research papers

–not being able to sit and watch movies all day because you don’t have time or you’re just too tired

–being broke and needing gas for my vehicle

–buying gas

–mathematics

–mean teachers rushing you to get your artwork done which defeats the purpose of starting a project in the first place, ASS.

–my creative writing/modern novels teacher’s way of grading. it’s just dumb. also she is dumb and wears super ugly clothes and has streaks in her makeup.

–wearing makeup

 

things i like:

–making lists just to take up space on the world wide web

–chapstick

–beef jerky

–socks

–sleep

–other things

 

 

so, this is boring. i’m going to go eat ramen.

did you know that by the end of today, i will have eaten one pound of french onion dip by myself?

 

that is the knowledge for you to soak up into your little sponge of a brain today. congratulations on your increased intellect.

 

i accept thank you cards and sexual favors.

 

the sexual favors part is a joke.

 

so yeah, i’m still slowly going insane by the permanent state of being annoyed i’m in when i’m at this house.

 

so i went to a college for a visit last week and it went very very well. i have found my school of choice. and i am very excited about that. but i’m going to try not to give my hopes up, you know that cliche phrase, because i dont want to be disappointed. but i am a bit bummed that i still have 4.5 months of high school left. i want to be done and feel like i’m getting something worthwhile.

 

last night i watched the velvet goldmine and i enjoyed it a lot. i also watched two more crappy movies and then i watched being john malkovich today. that was a nice film also.

 

i watch a lot of movies lately. i think i use it as an excuse for something to do. also, i’ve decided recently that i like watching movies and eating french onion dip until i feel like i might vomit.

 

i got my grade card last week. i have nice grades. my lowest grade is math class. it is a b. it will lower soon, because he’s changing some things in the class which will make it obvious that i’m not really doing my homework in there.

 

mr. robot teacher used to collect our notebooks at the end of a chapter and look to see what we have done and what we don’t. somehow i managed to get grades in the 90 percentile without doing one entire assignment and leaving some out completely.

 

really, i think i’m just what they call, “a smooth operator.”

 

also i’m operating on a lot less sleep than i’d like to be.

 

i need to go to a concert. it’s been FIVE MONTHS. since i’ve been to a show. five months is a long time.

 

next monday is martin luther king day, so i have no school. but i am so lucky that i get to work for six hours! hooray. i am so excited. next monday is going to be a great day. i can feel it already.

 

man what a waste.