today in psychology we had to bring in a song that ‘motivates’ us. and i wasn’t really sure what to bring, so i just brought beck’s odelay album, because it’s one of my most favorite albums ever. and i played “where it’s at” even though it’s not my favorite one on there. “hotwax” is for some reason. flashdance ass pants.
we had to get up in front of the class (which i seem to be doing about three times a week lately in all my classes) and tell why it motivates us and when we listen to it. and i got up there and rambled and i heard a girl say, “i like her shoes (or maybe it was look at her shoes).” i said i like this because beck’s music is really different than a lot of music most people seem to listen to. the whole album is energetic and i listen to it when i’m in a bad mood or something. i am a good public speaker.
yeah so today during school this kid whips out this strokes album and is like, “dude look at these guys” to this guy. and i see it and i say, “the strokes!” and then i tell him that i’ve been listening to the album a lot lately and give him a thumbs up. except it was an unsuccessful thumbs up because i forgot that my hand was inside my jacket sleeve. i’m suave, really. that was one of the two pretty boys at school. these two boys hang out together, which is funny. and they have shaggy hair oh baby. all i talk about is boys.
so yesterday at work my manager told this boy that i was going to ask him to prom, which is totally UNTRUE. i don’t even really want to go to prom. however, i would like to make plans with a boy on prom night to just hang out or maybe make out in the back seat of my car for the majority of the night. if you’d like to apply for this position please contact me and we can work something out.
oh giggle giggle.
i have compiled a mini album of trendy hand signal photos for you, my fanclub:
i have been in a terrible mood the last two days. also i’ve had a constant headache, and i think that might have something to do with it. but who knows.
the weather sucks. it was 75 degrees on sunday, when i had to work all day. and now on days that i don’t work it’s freezing and there is snow on the ground (!!!).
i need something to do with my time. i know i’ve said this about a billion times in this super secret diary of mine, but i really need a good friend to just hang out with. i can’t find ANYONE here who i can feel comfortable with and have interesting conversations with about things i care about. the only girl i really hang out with outside school, is really boring to me sometimes. it seems like she’s becoming more and more superficial by the minute sometimes. really, maybe i’m a strange girl or something, but i dont really care about her hair problems, or whether or not she feels like a “dirtball” or if she says she is dressed like a slob.
because WHO REALLY CARES?
seriously.
today in my psychology class this girl called the teacher a dork. and he asked to hear her definition of the word so she looked it up. and we learned the dork means whale penis. i actually knew that already, but now the whole class is enlightened. anyway, so we had a nice laugh because the girl was like, “you’re a whale penis!” and then there were some other jokes.
and so i took out my postcard that says, “i [heart] dorks” and showed some kids and showed the teacher. he took it and held it up for the class. and then we all giggled and then people started talking about whale penis more. it was funny then but it’s not that funny when i type it out.
today after school i went to wal mart to get alanis morissette’s new album. and while there i saw a dandy warhols album. which i was not expecting to see at wal mart because they usually dont have ANYTHING. so i bought both albums even though i dont really have the money for that. well i have a lot of money in the bank but i dont have a lot of cash until my next paycheck and i dont like to withdrawl money out of my savings (which i did today).
this is so interesting. hey, that is a lie!
tonight i cooked dinner for my family which is an extremely extremely extremely rare thing (i’ve never done it before, except maybe in 5th or 6th grade with the help of my mom). anyway i made this soup using a recipe i got in spanish class and then added a bunch of stuff and it actually turned out decent. which is funny, because i usually really really hate cooking. and this doesnt mean that i like it now. it was just a rare occassion.
today at my piano lesson i did really good on a few songs and my teacher was like, “that was excellent! i can tell that you worked on it a lot!” but the truth is i worked on all my songs for about 10 minutes total last night. but she does NOT need to know.
for the last few days in my “personal” notebook all i have done is write haikus and have pages of random words and word phrases that pop into my head, thus onto paper.
most of my haikus are really dumb and super unpoetic but they are just addictive and help pass time. also because of my new haiku passion, class time passes by much quicker at school.
i am not very nice to people sometimes. in fact i am very rude, but expect people to understand that i am joking. it’s okay if they don’t get it though because really, what does it matter.
today while i was at work this kid who used to live across the street from me, and whose sister i used to be good friends with, came in to order some food. i was preparing some order and he’s like, “so you like working here?” and i said, “it’s not too bad.” and he asked, “you do remember me don’t you?” and of course i did so i said, “yeah.”
(riveting, i know)
so he asked how my family was and i said, “they’re all fine…” or something of that sort. and then he apologized for being a “shithead” back then. which was funny, because i couldn’t hear what he was saying so i had to say “what?” three times and he had to repeat it three times. and when i finally heard it i laughed and said, “that was a looong time ago!!” and then i think i just went on with my business. i am not one for ‘chit chat’.
i think it’s dumb when customers come in and start talking to you using your name like they’ve known you for a long time, but really they don’t. they just know what your name is because you’re wearing a name tag. it’s also gross when pervert men keep touching your hands and you feel like vomiting.
because i can guess where that hand has been five minutes previously. i do not feel like going into details but i will say it has to do with the man’s own underpants and what is underneath them.
about thirty minutes ago i was laying on my bed doing some homework and i had the strokes playing because that’s what in my cd player. and my dad comes and stands in my doorway, and does a nice air guitar and head bangs. and i laugh at him and point. and then i say, “you’re pretty good at that.” the end.
so today i asked my dad if it were possible that next weekend i could drive up to this mall that is an hour away. because i’m trendy enough to enjoy malls and buying stuff for myself (however overpriced the items are). he seemed a bit ‘iffy’ about it but didn’t really seem like it was a bad idea. i’ll have to ask him every time i see him or he will not give me an answer. he says i should bring someone with me. but i don’t want to. my excuse is that i hate shopping with other people. that is not entirely true. i hate shopping with my friends because they laugh at the things i like. my superextremelytrendy friend would want to go into all the stores i dont want to. and would ask for fashion advice and i would laugh at her and say, “why are you asking me.” and then she’d say she is so fat which is funny because she is like a stick and i would say, “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO FAT.” and then i would roll my eyes at her and pretend to be disgusted when i really just think she’s dumb sometimes.
i could take this one girl who i go out to lunch with every day, but she is too wishy washy to take shopping with me. sometimes, i ask her where she’d like to go to lunch and she says, “i don’t care.” and i guess it’s great that she’s not too picky but i would like it if she put her foot down sometimes. that was a nice cliche phrase but it worked nicely there, don’t you think?
well now i feel like taking dumb pictures of myself so that’s what i’m going to do.
i’m tired. but for some reason i’m not sleeping. i’m sitting awake pretending i have something more useful to do with myself. today did not feel like a saturday. it felt like a weekday. maybe beause i didn’t have a day of nothing which i wish i could have. i had a day of six hour work and then three and one half hour baby sitting and nice acting up of my allergy to cats. yeah well we can’t all be winners. (what!)
tonight my father, sister, and i had a nice little chit chat about having jobs dealing with the stupidity of the general public. i did not have to deal with a great deal of stupid people today which is nice. however i was amused when this man came through the drive-thru and said, “please hold.” that was classic, and he was also very polite. honestly i don’t understand the need for honey barbeque wings. why do you people like them so much? can’t you just dip your chicken into the little tubs we supply? or do we have to occasionally (i have had trouble spelling this word lately) bring the stupid promotion back and burn our noses with the thick smell of barbeque sauce. i’m not even talking about the SPICY sauce, mind you.
i complain about my job a lot but it could be worse, seriously. sometimes i want to scream at the customers and lately i’ve been somewhat “snotty” (nice adjective, by the way) to a few who have been “snotty” (double great adjective insert!) and i do not care.
my fingernails have not yet grown out past my fingertips yet but i’m feeling the need to trim them. one thing i hate = long fingernails on myself. if i notice they are long suddenly it will bother me all day until i find a pair of clippers. if never find a pair of clippers, it might stop bothering me for awhile–while i sleep–and then it will bother me again when i wake up. actually i guess it’s not that bad but it’s one of those things that just bothers me a lot. what a great story. really emotional and deep. i hear all the diary critics look for a quality such as that. (look no further, i have got a deal for you!)
i work for four hours tomorrow and then i have to take my sister and nephew shopping. i really hate the fact that i am 18 and have to somewhat take care of my 25 year old sister. speaking of that, i think my brother in law will be coming back from work soon. he will be back in the house for awhile.
and that just breaks my heart because if there’s something i don’t need right now it’s him. ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME.
i love my family and i am never annoying with my complaints and i have an active social life and i’m a very happy camper and sometimes i think exclamation points are very ironic and amusing!
yeah, so it’s not official but it’s pretty close: i will not be going to columbia next wednesday to see better than ezra. i asked my father who is in a rather pissy mood tonight about it (which i meant to do a long time ago), however all he wanted to know was who i would go with and which venue it was at, and how i planned on getting there.
to the question of who i would go with: i don’t know.
to the question of how i would get there: i can drive there.
he said, “that’s a school night.” and i said, “i know. i don’t go to bed until about one every morning anyway.”
he just walked away and never answered me because that is his solution to EVERYTHING.
anyway, i think it’s stupid that i can’t even drive outside my town. i’m going to be leaving for college in about six months. that’s three hours away, AND i drive through kansas city to get there, which is a bigger city than the one i even want to go to for the show. and for the fact that it’s on a school night: i’ve gone to plenty of shows on school nights. he just wants reasons as to why i cannot go.
ANYWAY, ON TO BETTER SUBJECTS.
(i am a whiny brat. really i just want to go to SOME show because it’s been FOREVER).
i could just go there and not tell them,but then something could happen and blah blah blah.
hey i said i was moving on to bigger and better subject matter. I LIED.
yeah, so today at school i gave this kid a pin that says “i am loved”. and that was nice. today i also went thrift shopping after school and that was nice. i got some nice shirts for about 2 dollars and 13 cents.
i have not worked for three days in a row, but starting tomorrow i work four days in a row. oh hooray! i dont like when my schedule is like that but it has been for the last month. also tomorrow i get to close drive thru, which i hate doing on school nights. because i have a ton a crap i’m going to have to get done tomorrow. because i can’t finish it all today.
oh well.
also, i like to complain.
on the plus side of things, i’m going to be getting some new trendy bellybutton rings in the mail soon. that sounds much trendier than i expected. excuse me for being a trendmeister with a trendy piercing.
also, more news: i have this zit coming in on my cheek and it really hurts a lot. it itches too. don’t you like those. i know i sure do. SERIOUSLY.
i have the biggest headache. well i guess it’s not the BIGGEST headache but it’s close.
tomorrow we’re supposed to wear our free blood drive shirts to school. and i cannot find mine.
so i used my example of me attempting to be tina kerouac in my last entry for my senior composition paper. except i added some stuff in there. i said that maurine ran off with a poetic jester named rodney on a motorcycle. and that she is currently living in new york with another guy in an apartment and she thinks the subway smells like urine but she still likes it. also i added a part about the hippie man (hippy? i do not have mad spelling skillz yo) wandering around looking for a sharp chick to spend the night with. nice. i am a bit scared of what my teacher will think of my little work. maybe because i spent less than an hour (maximum) working on it.
today in spanish class i noticed that the weezah kid was wearing his vest that he bought from a thrift store in town and sewed on a patch and wears a pin that says “i am special” on it. and so i told him i got my special orange sweater which i wore today at the same place. i always point out that i bought my great clothes at that place because he appreciates it i’m sure.
he told me he wants a pin that says “i am loved” for his vest and i just happen to have one so i shall give it to him. i told him that i will bring it and he says he will give me a pin that says “tight butts drive me nuts.” he says it is something that matches my personality perfectly and i agreed because really.
so i just emailed this venue in the local concert town and asked if their shows are 18+ or not. because i would like to go to one of their shows. i am 18, but my concert buddy is not. and if my concert buddy could not attend the next eligible person might not be 18 either. i’ve recently been listening to hey mercedes because i am one trendy mofo. MOFO.
today i got my biggest pay check ever since i’ve been working at kfc. my first check over 200 dollars! 200 dollah. i put most of it in the bank and then i went to wal mart and bought myself a bag and a rainbow colored belt. i almost bought myself a tie dye kit but then i changed my mind. i also bought two big envelopes to send things in.
in the mail today i got this thing from “writer’s slate” or at least that is the name of the thing i got. it’s a collection of poetry and such from kids of all ages in the united states. and one of my poems was chosen. it was actually a poem that i had to write for my literary analysis class last year about the book fahrenheit 451. it is written from the point of view of main character guy montag. so if you ever come across a copy of the latest one i am on page 30 and my name is tina k. ha.
tomorrow i plan on mega thrift shopping after school. i hope i find some neat things. but i dont know. i have found some great things but really, it’s not the best second hand place i’ve ever been to. i remember the summer before my sophomore year i went to visit my sister in iowa and we spent a whole day school shopping for me at most of the thrift stores in cedar rapids. i mostly just bought pants, which i no longer wear but that was a lot of fun because you find the neatest things.
also i didn’t have the great taste then that i have now. i am such a fashion spotter. i see a fashion accident and BOOM there i am to fix it.
so i finally get the chance to do a really great writing assignment in my senior composition class and i’m stressing myself out over it because i simply cannot write.
one reason why i chose kerouac for a parody writing assignment: stream of consciousness. i could probably just write something up, throw in a few kerouac-like phrases and pass it off as something i worked hard on, right? well, the answer is yes but only if i could write AND I CAN’T.
so i picked up my checked out copy of on the road and my notebook and i rambled into it for awhile producing nothing much. and so i went to my stereo and decided that maybe listening to the freewheelin’ bob dylan would help me out a little. so i put that album and highway 61 revisited into the nice little cd slots, however before i actually got around to that i realized that i had prince in my stereo and had to listen to a few mandatory songs first and have a mini jam session in my room with my air gee-tar and pseudo dancing skills.
so i got around to changing the cd finally, and still produced NOTHING. pure crap isn’t really nothing but it’s pretty close.
i tried to take ‘real life’ experiences into this thing to make it easier but of course i had to change some things just because. pure fact would be boring because i’m not that interesting.
i didn’t really get to know maurine until we met for the second time a month after the first time we talked outside the wrong entrance of a local band show. we had both been a little ill and poorly dressed for the windy march weather, but neither of us complained in fear we’d drive the other away in annoyance. this second meeting was to see a live performance by mr. bob dylan, and we had both previously talked among ourselves with questions about what kind of socks the tambourine man himself wears. we were disheartened when our view of his feet was obscured by a speaker but we remained happy anyway. my first impression of maurine was of an indecisive small girl–but with practicality and responsibility buried in there someplace.
by this time at our second meeting we had encountered a man from st. louis, a forty year old hippie, who explained to us that he’s been following mr. dylan since the late sixties, and he hoped we wouldn’t mind that he’d be sitting next to us for the show. he didn’t stay there long though, he wondered aimlessly around the venue maybe trying to get a closer seat. this man may have or may not have been maurine’s and my inspiration for our fifth meeting, our second bob dylan show where we used our missouri charm to inch our way to the front row. we may have even seen the forty year old hippie man from st. louis but he was mostly just wondering about so we didn’t get a chance to verify it was him.
that very show smelled like inscense and smoke and probably tore up our lungs, but we didn’t mind, that is to say, we’d do it all again even if our insides burst.
I’M GOING TO NEW YORK CITY THIS SUMMER AND I AM ALREADY IMPATIENT FOR THE DAY TO GET HERE.
really, it is super exciting. and also i don’t know why maurine and her mom and grandma are so nice to me. i mean, really. we are going to see THE WHO. and meet up with more cool kids.
my dad seems to be excited for me also. he said, “we need to get them something NICE” because you’d be amazed how nice these people are.
it’s funny how the whole time i’m writing this entry about new york and the who, i have a stupid country song in my head.
i like talkin’ bout you you you you usually, but occasionally, i wanna talk about meeeeee. i wanna talk about mee ee eeee.
days until i graduate high school: 92?
i just got up and counted on the calendar but you all know how my math skillz are. they just keep going downhill every time i have to ecounter mister robot math teacher man at school.
i get paid on tuesday and i have the urge to put together super packages for people. seriously.
