last night i was THISCLOSE to getting someone to hang out with me saturday night, without obnoxiously trying. in fact, he OFFERED to hang out with me. but then he said he had plans. “sorry you’re on your own, bub.”

BUB. he said bub.

the facts are that we were going to go to a skateshop because we both strongly believe that i would be one motherfucking great skater.

i only wrote that last sentence because i thought it would be funny to insert the word “motherfucking” into a place where it obviously does not need to be. because that’s motherfucking hilarious.

i have both saturday and sunday night off work. i plan to do some hardcore hanging out, probably by myself. on monday night i leave for columbia and tuesday morning we leave for new york. (new rock city).

i want to do some hardcore hanging out before i go in case i die on the trip. i’m not sure if hardcore hanging out is possible by yourself but i am probably capable of working something out.

today i plan to buy more 25 cent coffee mugs, simply because they are 25 cents.

yeah, so nin boy told me i should have gone to the demo. and i told him i am stupid for not going.

 also here is part of our conversation:

 nin boy says: i think u’d make a good lesbian tina
tina says: oh thanks [ninboy's name]

when i do drive thru at work i like to ask the people to repeat what they said a billion and a half times.

and sometimes i will be looking out the window at them and they get so annoyed at how i can’t hear them that they throw their heads back and have mini seizures.

and then i meet them at the window and say, “hello, how are you? sorry about all that it’s hard hearing over this thing.” (or something). and of course i’m smiling and speaking very friendly-like. and they are all friendly back and what not. even though less than two minutes ago they were on the verge of reaching out their car window and smashing the drive thru speaker to pieces.

i’m really looking forward to closing drive thru again tonight.

i just realized that it’s raining and my car window is down.

fake insomnia
keeping me awake at night
the secret is naps

dirty fingernails
sarcastic conversation
all are parts of me

a pounding headache
and your nauseating voice
not a good mixture

once i had a dream
that i was happily there–
away from all this

i can’t write worth crap
so i sit and write haikus
that anyone can

it becomes tempting
when i view the souveniers
all over myself

when at the thrift store
it’s not a good idea
to buy underwear

i once knew this guy
who spied on his fat neighbor
and shared news with me

my sour patch kids
make my taste buds hurt and swell
but i keep eating

cute taco bell boy
why don’t you take my order?
you can keep my change

being shy is probably the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.

 well, besides being crushed by a giant mutant polar bear or something.

sometimes all i want to do is punch myself in the face repeatedly.

yo bitch, here’s a tip
you talk smack, i bust your lip
now you dance and strip

today i found god
hiding under my mattress
my bed felt lumpy

he said, “hey let’s dance!”
so i agreed, not knowing
i’d break all his toes

we do chicken right
but sometimes we do it wrong
IF YOU STINK REAL BAD

me, mighty ninja
at night i bite off your face
me, rabid ninja

i dig through the trash
trying to find my feelings
why’d you throw them out?

motorcycle gang
full of leather and mullets
tattoos and black boots

yesterday i semi-showed nin boy my website. i hope he didn’t look at everything. but that is the first time i’ve ever shown anyone i know offline all the shit i do online.

it doesnt really matter much though because he already knows i am the biggest nerd ever.

curse words are being used a lot more lately than usual. my intellect is dropping at a rapidly increasing rate. i guess this is what boring summer vacations do to people. eventually there’s just absolutely nothing left to do and anything and everything suddenly becomes funny. kind of like boring nights hanging out with boring people. towards the end of the boredom session everything becomes funny, and everyone starts laughing about nothing, or laughing at eachother laughing at nothing–whichever–and it becomes the highlight of the night. bad example.

i just want some nice times to reflect on later, and any of the things i’ve been doing lately hardly even pass as living. the past week has been a total waste and i wouldn’t miss a whole lot had the past week never happened. (except my paycheck of course).

i rented movies the other day but didn’t watch them all. i turned them back in unwatched. what a waste of my money. i probably shouldn’t rent more than one at a time anymore because i can’t sit for very long before i have a sudden urge to do something else–like have a bis dance party. but even the urge to dance like an idiot only lasts for a certain amount of time and i’m left yet again with pure boredom. i’ve never been like this before and i can’t get used to it.

i just had high hopes for a nice summer. i think it’s worse than usual this week because i’ve had four days off work. i dont actually want to go back to work tonight but i’m kind of glad that i wont be sitting at home thinking too much. i think a lot, but usually it is just a bunch of ideas and what not with no substance. kind of like this diarything OH GIGGLE GIGGLE.

sometimes i think i am turning into a grouchy old lady. one of the old ladies that comes into fast food joints wearing a curly black wig and a straw hat, correcting workers on their pronounciation of the word “buffet.”

today i went to the bank and set up a checking account. so now i can write hot checks and other popular things. i thought maybe now i could attempt to set up a seller’s account at ebay, because i really want to sell some of my crap. but you have to have a debit card and i chose not to have one. how criminal is that? anyway, i have a ton of crap that i’m not going to want to take to college with me and that i’m not going to want when i get my own place after college. i move out of the house in about a month and nine days. it’s just a really weird thought.

in other news, today i bought my dog a new neon pink collar. all the boy dogs will want her now.

i tried to go the whole day without some caffeine or over the counter pain relievers but man i felt like crap on a stick. so i cheated and had a lot of caffeine and aleve like usual.

last night i went to bed with some thick socks on because for some reason i was freezing. i woke up this morning without them on, and i found one under my pillow. it was pretty funny. i move a lot in my sleep. i can’t use top sheets because i get tangled up in them so badly. and if my blankets are tucked into the bottom of the bed i get them all twisted and what not. usually when i wake up in the morning my blanket is either sideways on my bed, all bunched up beside me, or facing wrongside up.

of course my sleeping habits are fun to read about. i get a lot of sleep. on average about eight hours a night AND i always feel like taking a nap, but i only sometimes act on that feeling. i am very lazy.

i need someone to come hang out with me on july 19. i’m now accepting applications. SERIOUSLY.

i wish it were that easy.

today i went to sonic and this girl was on rollerskates. it is a girl i semi-knew from school. she called me ma’am and then was like, “OH YOU GOT A HAIRCUT I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU! IT LOOKS NICE!”

so i was like, “oh hi. yeah i got it cut. thanks.”

the girls at work said they were going to cry when they saw my hair. which is funny. i had pretty sacred hair.

i just bid on a ‘best of the sugarhill gang’ cd on ebay. and you bess not outbid me foo’ or i be all up in yo grill.

i’m sorry. i feel really great and hyper and stupid right now. but it is alright because it will die down in about 30 minutes. or not. it all depends on whether or not i consume another cup of sugar with some tea in it.

my shoes say, “tina for pope” and other various things and names.