listening to dressy bessy makes me feel like i should be wearing a skirt, a sweater, plastic barrettes, and i should be eating animal crackers.

sometimes when ashlee talks she sounds like ralph wiggum.

last night was crazy fun!

it wasn’t a huge party, but more than the usual crowd showed up. man, superfun times.

the cops showed up at sarah’s house–but they didn’t come in. i guess they thought they saw a drunk driver pull up to the house or something. that’s funny too, because the guy wasn’t even drunk. just a bad driver.

this guy told me i was too cultured for him because i’ve seen bob dylan and tom petty live. that was pretty funny. he was the guy that came in my room once and told me, “bob dylan and james dean are the epitome of cool to me.” and then we laughed as soon as he was gone because for some reason it was the funniest thing ever.

man, lots of crazy things went on last night and it was just awesome. i’m glad i came back for the weekend.

we had a superfun sleepover in here last night too. it’s been awhile since one of those nights.

when i said that going to all my classes this week meant all but psychology on monday morning…i was just joking!

i meant all classes except psychology all week long

what a shitty night. since when did my friends turn into girls who need shirts that show their cleavage and the perfect belt and perfect shoes and hair?

and christ, do they really have to yell at the tv when watching Friends? (or any bad WB drama show?)

seriously, it’s just depressing.

i skipped the night out with them after a few hours. i drank some, but sobered up quickly and decided that i really don’t feel as well as i thought i did.

or maybe it was a lame excuse. either way, i am back here and it’s much better–i’d rather be bored than annoyed. i’m just in a bad mood.

they are cool girls, but sometimes the estrogen is just too much for me. i need some guys to hang out with once in awhile.

i really need some new people. i’ve been thinking that for awhile, but so far i’ve done nothing to reach my goal. maybe over the summer i’ll find some interesting people. doubtful though.

saturday night should be cool. some of my favorite blue springs kids are coming and hopefully just lots of other random people. if it’s lame, i swear i am going to shoot myself in the foot and bang my shins against sharp corners.

tonight we’re going to get drunk off wine, and then go to the bars.

i’ve avoided the bars all year because they just don’t appeal to me. but i might as well give it a try. i don’t have anything else to do. it’ll be fun to watch my friends get hit on by greasy men.

i’ve been sick the last few days, but today is much better. yesterday ashlee said my voice sounds “interesting–throaty and sexy” and i laughed at her and said i’d rather sound like a twelve year old than feel like shit.

i smell.

one time ashlee and i sat outside hudson and sang the theme to the hit television show 7th heaven in husky man voices.

it was funny for a few reasons:

1. we don’t even live in hudson.

2. 7th heaven is such a bad show.

3. we are cool.

4. 7th heaven is such a bad show.

5. our husky man voices are hot.

when i tell myself i am not going to skip any classes this week, i really mean all my classes except psychology on monday morning.

today in communications i am giving a speech on hand washing.

everything feels comfortable again. i changed a lot over this school year, but lately i’ve been taking the time to do things that i haven’t done in awhile. things that i like.

i think coming to school was probably the best thing i could have done. over the summer i was really lonely, and then i came here and met people.

now it’s the end of the year, and i don’t really see myself hanging out with many of the same people next year or over the summer. but everything has been nice.

i guess i might hang out with some of the same people–but even now we’re not close or anything. i didn’t come here with expectations of finding a best friend. i am satisfied but i want to start over again.

i can’t picture many people making an effort to keep in contact with me over the summer. maybe that’s just my insecurity. i rarely make efforts to keep in contact with people because i don’t want to end up wasting their time. it makes me sad to think about losing contact, and what friendships could have been if i wasn’t such a pansy, but usually i convince myself that it is for the best.

i don’t know. it is making me feel weird to think about this stuff right now.

but i am ready to be home and hang out by myself for a summer. i used to feel pathetic and stupid for not having friends at home anymore–but i have “come to terms” with it, i guess. it doesn’t bother me so much. there is still time to change things, maybe.

in other news, it really sucks that next week, i don’t have any finals on thursday, but ONE on friday. so i have to stay until the very last day.

i had a dream that people i love suddenly decided that earth was not the place for them and they all left one night for another planet.

i woke up crying and i felt really stupid, because really, i should have been laughing when i woke up.

that’s a pretty funny dream.