i am still crying about last saturday, when i was watching the pete and pete marathon on nogin and my dad changed the channel to WWE Velocity.

at least i secretly like wwe wrestling. especially when i type “wee wrestling” on accident.

things i secretly like even just a little bit:

-wwe wrestling

-80s music

-men on mopeds especially if they are fat men

-mid 90s country music

-bad talk shows like maury, ricki lake, and jenny jones

-court shows like judge joe brown, texis justice, etc.

-biker shorts

-old ladies who wear black wigs

-misspelling texas

i had the most awesome dream ever.

i was hanging out with this girl that i knew in high school and she started doing tae bo like crazy, just kind of suddenly. i told her that i would exercise with her but she just kind of seemed to zone out like she is a tae bo robot.

so then i just left. i went to some other place where i became best buds with andy dick! we layed on the floor and watched iron maiden videos. one video came on and i recognized the song and commented that “i never knew this was by iron maiden!”

then later it seemed to flash forward to some kind of little holiday gathering. i was hanging out in some little apartment with the girl from high school and my best pal andy dick—WHEN SHAQ WALKS IN.

anyway, apparently he had to leave again and walk somewhere to get something, so i said i would go with him. the girl from high school and andy dick commented on how it was funny that i didn’t even know shaq but we were leaving to run an errand together like friends do. (??)

i woke up after that.

today i locked my keys in my car for the second time this summer. i called my dad to get the number of the locksmith guy that unlocked my car last time, but he ended up yelling at me. i wasn’t asking him for any money or anything other than a phone number. it just made me feel even more stupid.

eventually i got my car unlocked. and i felt really stupid but my day got better when i got taco bell and then saw a man riding a little moped on the highway. i took a picture of him.

yesterday at work this lady came through the drive thru and wouldn’t answer any of the 4 or 5 “can i help you”s that i asked. so i said it again while watching her through the window, and she wasn’t even paying attention to the menuboard or the speaker or anything. so when she got to the window i realized that she didn’t even have her window rolled down. she ordered at the window as if that’s what is always done.

a lot of elderly people do this, they don’t even seem to know there’s a speaker by the menu. it is awesome and annoying at the same time.

my mom always puts some clean laundry like sheets and towels on the stairs so she’ll remember to take them upstairs. today she had a pile of placemats and a tablecloth there, and i didn’t have the lights on when i was running down the stairs and i stepped on them, and then fell down the rest of the stairs. so that was fun.

maurine and i dedicated today to taking pictures next to our favorite anarchy grafitti and being awesome and then seeing terminator 3, and then taking pictures of ourselves pretending to be terminators in an empty mall parking lot and being awesome.

the whole day was pretty awesome, minus the times i thought i was going to be deathly ill.

tonight at work the creepy mentally ill guy called to compliment on how great his food was when he ate there today. and he told me to keep up the great work.

it’s just funny because he never stops his crazy mentally ill antics.

maurine sent me the best package ever today.

the best thing about her mix cds is how they are a lot more mellow than the ones i make and it’s awesome.

she is helping my bad book collection grow. this time she sent me a chuck norris book and another one called, “how to be a teen model” and it’s amazing.

i’m ready to go back to school, i think. i’ve decided that i’ve had enough time to myself at home and i want to hang out with friends more than once a month. or at least not have to road trip to see them.

speaking of roadtrips, cassie called me today and i might road trip to springfield. it is doubtful because of work, but we’ll see how it goes.

i think i’m going to make a mix cd tonight, or a few. i need more people because i can only make so many for maurine (dick from high fidelity). in high school i used to make mixtapes for one of my friends and i don’t think she understood how awesome they were. it is rare that i find someone who actually likes them. it is a lost art i think, the enjoyment of mixtapes/cds. it also sucks making them for people who listen exclusively to one kind of music–it’s pointless, really.

god i’m really bored.

i think i’ll go write some haikus and then put on my most emo outfit and cry.

tonight the creepy mentally disturbed guy that harasses every business in town came into kfc (multiple times)–but the final time he came in was right before we closed–and he had a pizza.

he wanted to know if any of us wanted any. it was hilarious…because why does he do these things?

we all said no, obviously, because we all know that he probably ejaculated onto it or something.

last night we had a conversation about getting bug bites on our crotches.

i had a dream last night that i was just trying to find some food in the union at my school, and i saw lines and lines of people. so i walked along the line and ended up getting kind of shoved into this room, where a guy was making people kind of run around and do some dance-like moves.

he said something about anyone willing to dance like the villiage people to get into one group, and so i wanted to be in that group because i didn’t know what else to do, but the small group of people already knew what they were doing so i felt really lost and just wandered around.

the instructor guy was yelling at me and a lot of other people for not doing the dance steps. then later he was yelling at everyone individually, and when he turned to me, all he did was flip me off and say, “i’m not even going to touch you.”

even better than that dream is how i woke up with a country song about divorce in my head, “i’m going through the big ‘d’ and i don’t mean dallas, i can’t believe what the judge had to tell us, i got the kids, she got the palace!”

i am sure people think my life is riveting. mostly it’s just ridiculous, and makes other people feel better about themselves i think.

and that is a-ok!