at a party on friday i was stuck (because it was miserably crowded) and i said to a guy, “i can’t move.”

so he replied with, “what’s your name?” and held out his hand for a handshake. i replied and returned the handshake, except he turned it into an opportunity for hand kissing.

i pulled my hand away, but he kept hold of it and drunkenly followed it with his lips until i said, “don’t do that.” he was greatly embarrassed and said he just came in from georgia, it’s a southern thing to kiss hands, and apologized about eight times.

the scene where steve martin is introduced as the dentist in little shop of horrors is one of my favorite things ever, i decided this tenaciously yesterday.

in other news: i’m really concerned about my recent decline into the world of enjoying getting up earlier than needed. i hate sleeping through half the day to find it half gone. this is an alarming change in attitude. i already know what i’m going to be like when i’m old.

i had a dream that i lived in an igloo in a backyard and a guy stole all my things. i was inside the house of the backyard i live in and out the kitchen window watched a guy check to see if anyone was watchng out the windows–he didn’t see me–and he walked backwards to my igloo to see if there was anything he missed worth stealing. i called the cops but also yelled at him at the same time from a back deck and he begged me not to call the cops–too late–but i didn’t let him know that, i told him to bring all my things back and i wouldn’t care, but really, i was making this deal with him because the lady dispatcher on the phone told me to keep him there and keep her on the line until the cops came. i was going to surprise him. i don’t remember if the cops ever actually came.

later in the dream i dreamt that i read his journal and it said that i was the nicest new person but that i’d be better dead.

the most popular thing to say right now is, “i’m rick james, bitch.”

i bought my boyfriend a valentine’s stuffed unicorn at a discount price yesterday. it is pretty hilarious. i gave it to him with all my heart and $2.

i just remembered i went into a bathroom last night and it was a women’s bathroom but used to be a guy’s bathroom and so it had urinals all along the wall but since girls don’t use urinals (usually) there were fake flowers in them!

my poetry teacher gave the class mary-kate and ashley valentines today. it was awesome.

the anniversary broke up.

in other news: dave attell was at my school last night. it was pretty fantastic. i think it was funnier live than the acts i have seen on tv.

last week i only worked about 1.5 hours. that’s $9! this week work about the same…or maybe even 3.5! $21!

i like how i stopped trying to think of clever titles for my entries all together.

i finally saw dolemite last night. it was pretty amazing. “rat soup eatin’ mothafucka!!”

this morning when we woke up we watched the last hour and a half of the mighty morphin power rangers movie on abc family. it really couldn’t have been any better unless we were eating pancakes or waffles at the same time.

i’m successfully weening myself off caffeine. by “off caffeine” i mean, i will no longer drink like four cups of coffee in the mornings, tea at lunch and then more tea, sometimes more coffee, and then soda. maybe only one or two drinks a day. i’m also trying not to drink soda. it has been one day of excellency (i’m dying).