i had a dream last night that my mom overdosed on ritalin that i gave her because my room mate gave it to me and i couldn’t take it all, and also in another dream my dad ate a birth control pill because he thought it was headache medicine and i had to give him a lecture!

dear fox 4,

how dare you interrupt my judge joe brown television programming with a special report consisting only of live footage of dick cheney walking down plane steps in kansas city.

in other news: today is the last day of class. i only have one, but eight hundred pounds of homework to prepare for finals week.

went to the pub on tuesday and drank instead of working on the paper. yesterday i wrote an introduction and one half of a paragraph. tonight i am going to be awake and sitting at the computer for hours typing my face off. it’s not due until monday, but i also have another essay due for the class, as well as hardcore studying for the actual final exam. i also have to revise four papers for nonfiction and write two revision plan papers and then organize a bunch of crap for the portfolio by tuesday. and then another essay and another portfolio for poetry. and crazy catch up work for philosophy (determined to get an A). spanish, i don’t care much about the work for that class.

this is me complaining about being a college student. if my GPA isn’t at least a 3.0 for the semester i think i will cry. i’m not sure why it’s so important to me this semester.

in other news: english majors are sooooo pretentious.

i went to see apples in stereo last night at mojo’s, even though i really don’t know them all that well. it wasn’t bad, although sometimes shows are kind of lonely and it feels like a lot of waiting when you go by yourself.

i like the tiny venues best because all the band members just hang out around the bar and sell their own merchandise. one of the guys from apples in stereo was selling the cd’s. although i didn’t realize he was in the band until i saw him on stage a few hours later.

also, when i was sitting by myself at a table this bald man comes up to me and says, “you look familiar!” and i look at him blankly as he says, “were you at that store earlier with all that weird shit? around 6-ish?” and as i tried to remember what time i had been shopping and which store with weird shit he was talking about he said, “around 6 or 7? I’m trying to remember where i remember you from. did you go shopping today? downtown?” (something like this)

i answered, “yeah yeah, that’s probably where you saw me.” and then two minutes later he was on stage being lead singer guy.

i also met an asian guy named shane who goes to MU and is a photography major. “can i have conversation with you?”

so the whole apartment situation is a huge mess as of right now. i wish my potential room mate would just give me a definite yes and not a ..maybe, when do you need to know by?. then i could stop worrying. i want to keep the apartment that i looked at, but i dont think i could pay $400+ a month by myself. and i really don’t want to live alone. if it turns out as a no, then i have two weeks to find new plans.

so i told my mom about the situation and a “told you so” and a laugh really didn’t help.

besides this, everything is beautiful. even the paper i have to write on bartleby and all this other frustration. it’s all beautiful. i just want to know where i’m going to be living next year god dammit.

i think i’m going home this weekend–even though i should stay here and study my face off–and i think i’ll be headin’ to columbia to see the apples in stereo on saturday night. it’s only $8. i haven’t gone to a show alone since last april. i’m kind of looking forward to spending the day out by myself but any company would be welcome. i’m also really looking forward to drinking bubble tea and spending money at semi-expensive thrift shops.

last night on our way to wal mart to buy 1. a pink rideable horse friend and 2. pink pony party hats, a guy got on the elevator with us and said, “the hallway stinks. smells like a girl got shagged rotten.”

and everything was beautiful.

so i’m sitting in the union twice in the last two days, just eating dinner or lunch and and i hear music from the tv that always plays mtvu, a cure song–”lullaby”–and i think, “holy crap” because they never play stuff like that. but i was incredibly disappointed to find out it was just some white half-rapper named just jack singing about fucking snowflakes. what a tremendous, disgusting disappointment.

next year i’ll be living in a tiny apartment above an auto parts store. my first apartment!

i had a ten minute conversation with a telemarketer yesterday. AT&T calls me ALL THE TIME, and i always tell them that i am not the decision maker and that i live on campus so i don’t even worry about my long distance rates.

well this different lady was determined to do her job, which i told her, “i know you’re just doing your job but i have no interest at all.”

she told me i really did have a say in my telephone company on campus, that they would give me 50 dollars for a 30 day trial and as long as i didn’t pick up my phone and make a long distance call i wouldn’t receive any bill.

i told her i didn’t need her 50 dollars and i didn’t want it, and she acted incredibly amazed at that and brought in examples of how i could buy 50 dollars worth of starbucks (she admitted she thought every college student drank starbucks–i’ve never been to a starbucks or even know where one is in my area), i said i buy all my coffee on campus with my meal plan card.

then she said i could use it for 50 dollars worth of gas, because you know, prices in california are almost 3 dollars! i just really wanted to get off the phone, but apparently, both of us were too stubborn to just hang up and had to convince the other. it was a vicious competition. i almost told her that missouri has the cheapest gas prices around.

i also admitted that i would be leaving in a month, and she said i could take the 50 dollars as a gift from AT&T. i said, NO. i admitted that the whole conversation was just very comical to me, because they call me multiple times a day and i always say no–that there’s no reason for them to call me anymore.

she said the best way to stop the calls is to sign up. i said, “isn’t it enough for me to tell you not to call here anymore?” at this point we were talking at the same time, so she probably didn’t hear me.

i’m not even going to be here for a month, i move out at the end of this month, i told her, and she was like, “well you’re going to get a phone then aren’t you?”

i replied, “yes. you all can call me there, and i’m sure you will.”

it was just awesome, obviously. i’m sure i’ll get a call from AT&T this afternoon too, or a call for my room mate who doesn’t live here telling me that she has a DVD due back tonight at 9.