Sleeping has been almost a chore lately because I’ve been having ridiculously vivid and unhappy dreams.

Of course, there’s the ones where someone is after me, and I’m afraid, and I can’t scream.  To add to the nonscreaming ones, are ones in which I’m having a conversation and what the person needs is for me to just reply, and I can’t talk.  I try, and just let out these odd little peeps.  I woke up peeping.

Then, there’s always the ones where there’s some natural disaster about to happen, and I can’t run anywhere.  I try to run and it’s a huge chore–I put all my effort into it and can barely move.

In the most recent one, I was at my parent’s house, but I realized that I needed to go take a final–however, I couldn’t find my car keys or anything I needed for the class.  My mom decided I could take her car, but only if she drove.  So I got in her car, and before getting in, she decided she needed to clean the tires.  Anyway–tons of silly things my parents were doing were stalling the process.  I was about 40 minutes late, and still in the driveway, when I said, “I have probably just failed the class.”

To which my dad replied, “You know what you do when that happens?  You quit.”

I was completely confused; my parents would never suggest I quit.  So I said, “What?  But I won’t be able to get my degree.  It’s the only class I need.”

“Just quit.  Don’t worry about it.  We’ll go to college together.”

I still tried to leave, but couldn’t really get the car to work.  It kept going in reverse, or in circles.

Anyway, I don’t know what all the dreams lately are about, but there’s been so many of them.

In other news:

I have a BA in English.  It still seems very odd, even though I’ve been working toward a degree for 4.5 years.  I don’t feel “grown up” at all.  My dad says he still doesn’t know what he wants to be when he grows up.

It doesn’t feel like I am on break yet, because the applications are still lingering over my head.

I have one more essay to write (about writing poetry) and one more portfolio to make for the same class. 

I’m sending my first graduate application out tomorrow.  I’m scared.

Holy hell.  I graduate on Friday.  FROM COLLEGE!!!