Today I’m waiting for a bus when this man comes walking towards the bus stop.
Okay, not the most interesting opening sentence. Here, let me describe him:
He’s a very skinny man, wearing work boots, jeans, a neon yellow construction vest over a hoodie, and a hard hat. His hair: shoulder length and wavy brown—but stringy. If hair had a voice, his hair would be raspy.
He comes up to me and starts talking about how he had a scary moment earlier. He was in a store and all this Valentine’s Day merchandise was out. He thought he was having a flashback to Valentine’s Day!
He has one large tooth sticking out of his top gums. It’s brown and misshapen. I wonder if it hurts when he eats ice cream.
“I hope this ends soon! I can’t take any more of that!” he says.
“Hopefully!” I say.
He sits down on the sidewalk. He says a few things—to no one in particular. I do not feel like being friendly, so I gaze at the label on my drink.
I know I whine a lot about my online paper-grading gig–about how so many of the students write terrible sentence-less, all caps emails. And how they don’t read my feedback or the course material. Or how they don’t fully read assignment instructions and then are surprised about how their papers receive low grades. Or about how they don’t think I’m giving them feedback on their papers because they didn’t fully read the feedback to understand that there was a file attachment and how they email me and say that they fully disagree with how I grade. Or, how they turn in papers past the deadline without discussing it with me, and, after receiving a zero, tell me that they were without power for days because of snow so it is unfair of me to not grade the papers they worked so hard to write.
Anyway, there are some positives to the job.
The students who do work hard are far more grateful than most of the students I had when I was teaching in grad school. Students regularly thank me for the feedback I’ve given them and often send me very nice emails.
Here are some excerpts:
I have really enjoyed this class and although our contact has been professional, I can tell that you really care about what you do. I appreciate that.
I’m not sure how or if the TA’s are rotated, but I hope to have you in another class.
Take it easy Tina and thanks again for everything. You’re the best!
Peace
I did, honestly, giggle a little at the part about me caring about what I do. Because, while I would say that I care, I’m not sure this student would say the same thing if he saw the way I swear at and hold out my middle finger in the general direction of my laptop/email when student papers or questions are on the screen.
Thanks so much for the feedback and guidance you gave me. 50 is not a crutch I use, but I really wish I would have paid more attention and requested assistance 40 years ago, hopefully being a better student.
I appreciate and applaud you.
My heart melted a little with that one. I like being appreciated and applauded, and I really deserved it at the end of that course. Plus, this student improved a lot. It felt good to be a part of that, even if there’s still room for improvement.
Thank you Tina for your kind words and especially your guidance. I
could not have done this without your input. Thank you again for all of your help.
And finally, one of my favorites:
I will admit, it was not quite what I expected. But I do understand why it was as it was. You did a great job. I think I understand your situation a little, considering that I have taught some computer skills classes to largely computer illiterate people. I know it takes patience and kid gloves to teach a group of adults something that is scary and uncharted for them. It was really rewarding to see some of my classmates grow and improve as they did over the course of the class. I know that was happeneing because of your behind the scenes guidance.
Anyway, while I say these online students are more grateful than the in-person students I had–I still don’t get to bond with them in the same way. These students don’t randomly send me links to youtube videos or websites that they think I would like based on something I said in class (example: awkwardfamilyphotos.com –not only did a student, fully understanding that I would love this, send this to me, but three other aquaintances also emailed that link in the same week. All the email subjects said things like, “you need to see this” or “you will like this”).
They also don’t come to my office with guitars, harmonicas, or ukuleles and perform for me.
Maria over at No One Reads the Copy gave out some blog awards. I was the lucky recipient of one. I was given the choice between this one and another one. I chose this one because of its simplicity:
Anyway, go read her blog. She’s smart, funny, and Greek. And she recognizes my ability eat large amounts of food.
Part of receiving this award involves listing things that make me happy. Ten things, I think. And then I’m supposed to pass the award on to ten other bloggers. I’m breaking the rules though for a few reasons: 1) I’m kind of lazy today, and 2) I am rebellious.
Things that make me happy
1. Not receiving student emails that say things like this:
Isn’t a draft a great way to learn! It wasn’t here! All it was make me question, WHY I’m here taking this abuse!
I have asked for help with citing website and all I get is refer to APA Standards, which tells me absolutely NOTHING! I have asked questions in my posts and get great questions, but no answers! I am really discouraged right now!
I am truly happy this class is over with!
And then having to reply that the assignment instructions were very clear so the student should not have been surprised at the areas being graded, and also that I have not received any questions about formatting. Not having to reply to these emails really makes me happy.
2. This video makes me happy:
My friend Maurine sent it to me about two years ago. I watch it whenever I’m down.
3.
4. Food makes me happy. Particularly fresh tomatoes. Then there’s also cookies and cheesecake, gigantic hamburgers, and pho.
5. I love having people visit me here. My sister and nephew will be here in a few weeks!
6. Despite how much my service industry jobs have annoyed and continue to annoy me, I love the weird stories I’m able to tell about them.
Nagehan because she’s a smart writer trying to get into MFA programs, and, while a little happy face image (that sort of reminds me of Wal-Mart) isn’t the same as getting into grad school, she deserves some recognition. She’s also really nice. She also gets the vote for best name.
I’m also going to link this to Leah because she got a job, and reading about it made me happy. Plus, she’s really crafty with a curling iron.
I read a lot of blogs, but these two ladies were the first to come to mind. I would, however, like to congratulate all ten of you who read this blog. Ten. And I’d also like to apologize for my personality. It’s always been this way.
You don’t want to stay in Seattle for too long, though. There’s going to be a 9.1 magnitude earthquake. I saw it in a dream. All these buildings around here–all of them–gone.
Did you hear about what happened in Haiti? Haiti’s not too far from the United States. People don’t understand that. No one’s paying attention. You know what I did when I saw what happened in Haiti? I cried, man.
I cried.
You know what’s going to happen to me if one of these buildings falls down on my head? I’m going to heaven. I’m going to heaven because I’m in Jesus. I’m in Jesus. I ain’t afraid of death.
Last week, Bryan came home from work and said, “There’s a cat that needs a home.”
I said, “But we’re allergic.”
He said, “This lady at work inherited a cat from her nephew, who just broke up with his boyfriend, and the nephew doesn’t want the cat and the boyfriend can’t have pets in the apartment he had to move into.”
I said, “We’re allergic to cats.”
He said, “This lady is also mildly allergic, but she says she is fine with one cat. But now with this new cat she has two and it’s almost too much. His name is Mercedes, which is a stupid name for a cat. He’s already neutered.”
I said, “I don’t want to get a cat and then have to give it back. But yeah, Mercedes is a stupid name for a cat.”
Then we came up with several names–including Prince Rupert Toothbrush. I guess my brainstorming names was an implicit “yes we can have a cat even though we’re both allergic.” We were given a “trial run” with the cat to see how our allergies would deal with it, because, although I know I’m allergic to cats, my reaction to them varies from cat to cat. Plus, Bryan really really wanted to do this, and sometimes a lady has to humor her man.
So this was our Valentine’s Day: We wake up early and Bryan is all IT’S KITTY DAY!!
We pick up the cat from the lady, take it home, let it out of its carrier. We call him Rupert. He sits in our laps and explores all the hiding spots in the living room. Then he hears a loud noise and hides under the bed for three hours.
I go to work. When I get home 8 hours later, Bryan is sitting on the couch with an obviously swollen face. But he refuses to acknowledge his obviously swollen face and plays with cat. He is pretty much rubbing the cat on his swollen face. I take a couple allergy pills and feel drunk.
The cat wakes us up with repeated meows at 1am. Then 3am. Then 5am. When we finally wake up, Bryan showers for the third time since we brought the cat into the apartment. It stings. He still itches.
We give Rupert back only 24 hours after meeting him. We feel guilty. On the drive back, Bryan says, “Please don’t let me come up with any more harebrained ideas.”
Then we have some Mexican food and take a fat, meow-free, nap. And vacuum the shit out of the apartment.
I now semi-proudly present, from the depths of my old diaries and blog entries, Vintage Tina: Valentine’s Day edition. These are only edited to be shorter–otherwise, the content is just as it was when I wrote it. Consider it, especially this first entry from 1998, proof that I’ve always been a little lame.
February 14, 1998, age 14 (eighth grade)
Today was okay. I bought a Hanson Middle of Nowhere CD.
February 14, 1999, age 15 (freshman in high school)
We were sitting downstairs and it smelled like wax and my dad went to the garage to get firewood, and the ashes in a bucket were on fire, the bucket it almost completely melted, it was weird and it STINKS!!
February 14, 2000, age 16 (sophomore in high school)
Today was nothing special. Tomorrow will be stressful. I have to write my book report AND type it.
February 14, 2002, age 18 (senior in high school)
today i was called in to work. which sucked because i wanted to go thrift shopping. but i’ll go tomorrow. so yeah, i got to close drive thru tonight. it was extremely busy. i guess chicken is the food of lovers. i was proud of myself for handling so many drive thru orders in a row. i’ve never done that before by myself. i only yelled at my coworkers a few times. they understood though. because really, i can be mean.
…
you know what’s really gross? when people come into fast food restaurants, and you’re taking their order. AND THEY SMELL REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD. i mean, there’s these two ladies who come in a lot and they just smell so terrible. once they left and i was cleaning off their table AND I COULD STILL SMELL THEM.
today i was changing out part of the buffet, and i smelled something bad. i looked up and one of the ladies was in front of the buffet refilling her cup.
COME ON LADIES. BATHE.
February 17, 2003, age 19
manfriend and i didn’t really celebrate valentine’s day much, but who wants to go out to eat or whatever when that’s what everyone else is doing?
he got me some candy and a JOHNNY BRAVO COLORING BOOK! it’s supergreat. we just drank alcoholic beverages with eachother, because we are alcoholics nowadays here at school. we also got very muddy trying to get inside a house, and spent awhile scraping mud off our shoes with butterknives. the night was a special one.
February 14, 2004, age 20
i just remembered i went into a bathroom last night and it was a women’s bathroom but used to be a guy’s bathroom and so it had urinals all along the wall but since girls don’t use urinals (usually) there were fake flowers in them!
February 13, 2005, age 21
Tomorrow is Valentine’s day. I’m going out for drinks and more robot dancing with some hot chicks.
Yesterday in the ESL class that I help teach, we had a class lesson on American social etiquette. Many of the students are especially interested in this because of the cultural differences–and the class was full of “what if” questions. One student, who works as a cashier, was wondering if it mattered which hand he used to give change to the customers–because the way things are handed to others holds significance in his culture. Another student wasn’t sure how to react to panhandlers. Other students wondered if it was appropriate for people to fall asleep on the bus and snore, or if it is appropriate to take your shoes off on an airplane.
–
I started the lesson by asking the students to come up with examples of appropriate or inappropriate social behavior and started two lists on the board.
Pretty quickly into the lesson, a student asked about farting.
So I wrote “-farting” on the board under the “inappropriate” column.
Many of them didn’t know what “farting” meant. Luckily for me, the other students were pretty willing to explain what it is. But keep in mind that the class is full of students at different English speaking levels from different countries (Places represented: China, Japan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Nepal, Philippines, Chile, Peru, Tibet, Thailand)–so the explanation involved a lot of pantomiming, laughter, and noises. It was especially funny when students thought we were talking about something else–and then actually realized what farting meant.
My ESL students are amazing. These adult students are so happy to be in America and so happy to be learning the language. They are perfectly willing to point to their butts and make “pprrrrffft” noises so that their fellow classmates understand what farting is. They are happy to practice the pronunciation of the word–to ask me if they are saying the word “fart” correctly.
Here is the first (and maybe last) installment of Emails From College Students
These are complete emails I have received from students in online courses. These are in chronological order from October-yesterday. Names have been edited.
—
Hi
this is betty, I am not
making any excuses , my
homework on week 1 didn’t
load , I have a dial-up
system and something
happened, I am working on
this issue. I did reload
this. I really want to do
good in these courses.
thank you Betty.
—
Im not sure if I uploaded the assignment right can either you please let me know if I did or not thank you so very much.
—
Thank you for the reminder. I have not clue how I going to do it. Can you help me
—
Mr.– I wonted to ask how come a point got taken from me for being absent?Mr.– I have’nt missed aday since I started school,with all do respect.I don’t remermber that.I make sure I’m here and my work is in and done on the days that it supose to be.I just don’t remember being late or absent Sr.
—
well i do not have Microsoft word for one OK
—
Hi Tina, I can remember what was the name of the assigment was it time management.
—
I don’t remEmber My password to get into order the book
—
can you help me oder my books for me please
—
I wont to no why I have not been graded on my 1st written assignment?Please let me no because I don’t see my grade for that.
—
happy thanks giving
—
—hello tina k, im sorry i not have been sending my assingments in on time, but my coputer has been acting up and i have to go to the libaray. I just started working full time so, it’s been crazy. Im working all my situstions out and i will stick with school. I have, gotten down about my situations but i dont want to quit school. so thanks for your email
—
hey how do you attach the final paper to the board and i have know idea how to do the other written repose 1 and 2 so will you have some one call me tomorrow so that i can talk to some one about this
—
ok well i will try that ok
—
Hello Tina happy thanks giving sorry am sending this msg today, but i think my assignment went out to you hopefull becaue the error msg i was getting did not pop up i believe they fixed it without calling me.
Thanks,
—
Why havent I been graded on my written response!?.I been did those assignments.I need those grades.
—
Hello Tina I try so hard to do it why come Word Perfect is not concern Microsoft
i have as my daughter and she said it was I don’t have the money for Microsoft not now are there any free 90 days trail going on.
—
I need someone to help me order my books for the next class
—
can you help me order my books for the next class
—
I need help ordering my books for the next class KNow one will help me order my books for me All I sak is someone to order my books for me
—
I just retried to submit my work, I would like for you to grade them today please becouse after to day they will be erased off this computer.
—
how do i submit it
—
Ok,well thats great.I will from now on.I have a flash drive now.Thank you
—
Tina, I put the wrong one in again, assignment that is.
—
Hello I posted for this and it is not showing..it was showing last night when i posted it..It was a nice long one..what happened to it..?
—
Mrs tina I apologize but I never recieved ur first elvaluation I looked for
It and I assumed that it didn’t have any marks???
—
Okay again I apologize for not contacting u
Bill
Go COLTS!!!!!!!
—
i was wondering if anyone had any ideas that would help me with my paper. please write back to me.
—
Hello I know this is kinda late but I WAS WONDERING COULD I STILL TURN IN MY PAPER THAT WAS DUE FOR WEEK 3….I TRIED TO TURN IN MY ROUGH DRAFT BUT SOMETHING WITH MY DOCUMENT TYPE WOULDN’T LET MRS. TINA OPEN IT. I HAVE IT ALL DONE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE DOCUMENT TYPE. SO I WAS GOING TO SAVE IT TO MY FLASH DRIVE AND TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE AND TRY. SO CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THAT IS OKAY. THANKS MY NAME IS TRUDY JOHNSON
—
ThaNks any
ways
—
HELLO…I WAS WONDERING…IS THERE ANY EXTRA CREDIT I COULD DO?
—
HELLO…I AM HAVING SOME DIFFICULTIES…..I AM TRYING TO TAKE MY QUIZ AND IT WILL NOT LET ME….IT SAYS I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THE QUIZ WHICH I HAVE NOT….IT IS NOW 7:30 PM…
—
hey my word is acting up and i have it typed and i will be able to turn it in as soon as i can. i just wanted to let you know so i hope that this does not effect my grade the product key for the word program had locked me out.
—
I COULD NOT SEND IT LIKE THAT IT WOULD NOT LET ME I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD THE PROGRAM, BUT I SENT IT IN THE BASKET I HOPE THAT WORKS OUT FOR ME BUT IT NOT THANKS ANYWAY.
—
ok i sent it again the correct way.
—
i send it again did you receive it…. I send in the doc. format
—
hey i was wondering when the paper would be done grading. I’m worried about my grade. can please let me know what my grade is if you have already graded it.
thank you
—
i was just .trying to see what was my finale grade on in the class and on my finale paper
—
hi just wanted to know what my final grade is for the class its not posted on the site and the grade on final draft
—
i was wondering if you might of got the essay graded yet. i know that you said that you have to have them done by monday but i was wondering if you got mine graded just yet.
—
oh k sorry i don’t mean to be a pest.
—
hello i was wondering if you got anywhere those papers. i know that it is Monday. i just need to know what my grade is in this class and if i passed it .
I’m two days behind deadline on grading papers. I’m reading papers written on topics like: The difference between Dirty Dancing and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, and how “foreigners” have things handed to them on a silver platter, and pick-up trucks. I’m a little dead inside.
I also have a stye. I blame the paper topics, comma splices, and semicolon misuse. Oh, also, the paper that talks about the writer’s relationship with her boyfriend when it was supposed to be an argument paper on a controversial issue. That one really got to me.
I can’t wait to show you the incredible student emails I’ve received. You know–the ones that don’t use sentences and the ones written entirely in caps lock. First, though, I have to quit this job.
Last night was the company post-holiday party, so like any decent human being I drank too much, sang along to “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and threw up when I got home.
At one point in the night, I was in the ladies’ room with two other women. They were having trouble getting the automatic paper towel dispensers to work. I suggested that maybe we needed to do the running man in front of them in order for them to work.
So there we were: three women, united, with one mission. Doing the running man.
